Saying No...

What is it about people who have trouble saying No?

Is it a fear of offending someone?
Are they afraid of making an enemy?

This is more a parenting post than business related, but it does have merit in business too.

I was behind a lady in line at a store here in LA. She was shopping with her daughter and trying, almost successfully, to keep up with her physically. The daughter was maybe 20 or could have been one of those 5'11" 14 year olds who have been drinking hormone laden milk all their lives and just looked 20, but anyway... The mom had the same long straight dyed blond hair and size 0 jeans but mom had big fake boobs and the skin under her make-up didn't have that youthful glow of the daughter but rather the chemically skin-peeled, botoxed hell-of-an-effort shine of someone trying to keep up with their 14-20 year old beautiful-but-too-thin daughter.

ANYWAY...

The daughter was loudly "in LOVE" with this little vest but "it's expensive". Mom says no way but daughter is "SO in LOVE" with it and would wear it a lot, she didn't know where, but she would, honest she would wear it "ALL the time" she swore! But mom would then have to put something of hers back (said mom in an exchange with the daughter that somehow volunteered me in the show since I was receiving smiles from Mom as if including me in the conversation.) I said quietly as if to myself, but directed at the mom since I was in some strange way, now part of the family, "Don't put something back, just tell her no."

The mom looked at me like I was from Mars.

I don't think the concept had ever occurred to her. After all her and her daughter were no doubt "Best friends" "Pals" "buddies who do EVERYTHING together" BFF.

News flash Mom... your best-friend-forever-mini-me was working you pretty good. Without further incident the vest was in the pile to be purchased while Mom decided what, of hers to put back...

No effort was made by the adult daughter to offer to pay for any of the clothes that she obviously expected mom, who made a few comments indicating how "strapped" she was, to fork over whatever funds she had. The vest and other items were things Blondie was clearly entitled too under the "BFF with a parent" clause, section 4D.

And I didn't hear a "thank you" either after the transaction... but people sometimes forget to say thank you for things that are merely an expected result.