It might seem that way

It seems like I have abandoned my trusty blog.

I haven't. I just haven't felt motivated to write. I have run across some good stuff I wanted to share with you but got sidetracked and then POOF. It was gone.

I hope you all take a minute out of your busy lives to have a fabulous Thanksgiving and find things to be thankful for.

I find that even if you feel like you are at the bottom and struggling, depending on your outlook, you can always find things to be thankful for. Always. Remember to put things in perspective and don't sweat the small stuff.

Easy to say, sometimes hard to do.

Brand Image

Now, when these people named their business, did they do this on purpose? Look at the time they took to work out the logo with the F, S and W all working together... but Federal Screw Works? Really people?! Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love this sign but from a business standpoint, um... would you buy screws from these people?

Actually, maybe I would. Just because their sign made me smile all through the Bush era.

New Family Members

No, it's not a baby. Well, not a human baby anyway.
Our 8 year old has been asking for a dog since she was, well, born. So my husband, of all people said,
"I think we should get her a dog for her birthday."
"Seriously?!" I said. "How do yout hink that will make our other daughter feel? She has been asking for a dog too, since forever."
"Well get her in on it and make it a surprise." He said.
I didn't think it would work but it did. She was very excited at the prospect of surprising her little sister with the coolest present EVER. Plus, I'm sure she figured that she would reap the benefits of a puppy too.

Now keep in mind I realized that this would mean more work for me, being the one who is home and a grown-up and stuff. But I'm at a point where that is ok. Well, we rescued the best pup EVER from MiracleDogRescue. He is a little mini dachshund something mix. Smart as a whip and just a little cute.
Our daughter named him Arthur.

I was reading some stuff on why little dogs tend to be snappy and yappy and why that is. It turns out that 99% of the problems stem from how people treat the dogs. Entertain this:
A little dog jumps on you or up on your lap, growls at someone or barks in their tiny voice at a big dog or one of your guests. Ahhh how cute, he trying to be a big doggie.
Now picture a doberman or rottweiler doing the same thing. It is cute? No! It's a problem. Well guess what, to the dog, it is exactly the same thing, regardless of their size. Both are showing dominant behavior. For the big dog it's a problem that gets addressed, for the tiny dog it isn't considered a big deal because they are cute. But it is a big deal. I don't like most dogs because they lack respect and training and knowledge of certain boundaries.

Reading this was a big relief because it made a lot of sense to me. Dogs should never be allowed to exhibit dominate behavior no matter how big they are. That includes walking on a lead. They should never walk out in front (leader of the pack) they must always walk next to you or behind you. I don't think I know a single dog, of all my friend's dogs, that knows how to walk properly on a leash!

I'm looking forward to helping this little adorable bundle of love be the biggest small dog on the block. Well behaved, well adjusted, knowing his place in our "pack."

For more fabulous dog tips, check out this insightful website:
THE HUMAN DOG
The number one biggest mistake dog owners can make with their dogs is to treat them like humans. The human race is such a kind, compassionate species that we tend to look at our canine companions as little humans. When in reality, they are canines and have a very different thought process. This is what differentiates mankind from other species in pack societies; there must be a specific order, from the leader on down to the last follower. Everyone has a place. The leaders are the strength of the pack. The followers need the leader to guide them. This primal instinct keeps the pack secure and happy...

Spoiled Children or Spoiled Parents

Now before you go thinking this is a professional assessment of child behavior, let me be clear: The child I am talking about is a dog.

My niece and her boyfriend brought their dog with them recently on a visit. They arrived very late and most of the house was asleep. Those of us still awake spoke in hushed tones, greeting each other with happy whispers and welcomes. The dog, a beagle, had had a long car ride and was VERY excited. She was sniffing and "tracking" smells from one room to another. A delightful little creature that didn't bark or misbehave, particularly, but was full of energy... at 1:30 am... toenails clicking rapidly along the hardwood floors as she cased the joint.

After getting them set up we said our good nights and went upstairs.

The next morning I come to find out that our niece slept in their truck... with the dog... Had she been past her spry 20s, waking up every half hour to move her hip off the gearshift might likely have killed her, as it would me, having one foot in the grave here in my 40s as it is. Sleeping in the cab of a pick-up truck is not presently on my bucket list.

So the reason she chose such stellar sleeping arrangements was because the dog, essentially her child, wouldn't settle down and she was afraid it would eat something or chew up a DVD player or pee on the floor... So they put her in the truck for the night, by herself at first. But apparently she was whining because she was as excited about sleeping with a steering wheel in her rib cage as I would be. So after 15 minutes of whining and howling, my niece caved and slept in the truck... with the dog... all night... in half hour increments...

Due to various scenarios causing potential anxiety anticipating a sequel of the previous night, they put the critter in "Doggie day care" for the rest of that day and the next night. This is where I decided to blog about it... In chatting about the ins and outs of doggie day care, I found out that this small dog got to spend the next 24 hours on an 8 acre farm running and having a ball. Cool, what a great thing. Then she mentioned that she paid extra for a few things... Like what? I said.

"Well, we bought her a nature walk and a play date."

"I'm sorry, you bought her w h a t ?"

"And a bedtime story."

"You bought your dog, who gets to run her butt off and play, ya know, like a DOG, an additional "nature walk, play date and BEDTIME STORY?!"

Um, now I'm a rational person and I understand liking your pet. I really do, but WTF?
It's a dog, people.
They drink from the toilet.
Do they really need a bedtime story? The one night they aren't with you?!!?!

O
M
G

It ocurred to me that this pattern might be an indication of future parenting techniques. The anxiety of the kid acting up late at night, so you attempt to remedy the situation but eventually cave in and cater to the child's manuipulation of the situation rather than figure out a comprimise on your terms.
And then the whole buying crazy extras designed for you, not the dog child just cracked me up big time.

I am in the wrong business! Pet sitting is the thing!

Summer

I think it's important to get totally out of your element every once in a while. If you are lucky enough to have the kind of work situation where you can leave for a month or more and take a nice low-maintenance break, and still have a job when you get back, I highly recommend it.

France does it. China does it. What is wrong with the US? China has a mandatory vacation for several weeks around their New Year. France takes most of the month of August off. It's brilliant. The soul needs to refuel, rest and rejuvenate in order to be more productive.

Now I'm not talking about slogging through your bucket list, planning 15 bus tours in three weeks from Alabama to Guam... you shouldn't feel like you need a vacation after you've come home from vacation. How about two weeks in cabin where you go fishing every day and you have to read a book because there is no TV. I always hear, "Well I have to be reachable." "I have to take my cell phone and laptop everywhere I go. I'm a very important person!"

Ya know, I hate to say it, but if you spontaneously combusted tomorrow the world would not stop spinning. The office you work in would somehow manage. I give you permission to use that as an excuse next time you want to be unreachable and a boss is giving you a hard time. That is not to say you aren't a major asset but people, I think, overstate their importance. I learned that when we were in Singapore for several months in 2005 and we did not hear the name "George Bush" the entire time we were there. Not once. Back here in the states we think everyone knows all about all our woes and oh what are people thinking... Um... a lot of people are actually too busy with their own issues to really pay much attention to things that don't affect them directly. Singapore does not need the US for anything. It might find us vaguely interesting as one might find a National Enquirer cover introducing "Bat Boy - Baby Half Boy and Half Bat!" But that's about it.

So do yourself a favor. Carve out some time for yourself and your family this summer. Get away from it all. As important as you are, the world really will wait a week or two for you to get back.

It really will.

Out of Commission

Sorry for the lapse. I've been dealing with kidney stones.

Hope you never get them. They're right up there with chicken pox and being run over by a dog sled.

Time Management and Goal Setting

Goal Setting is an integral part of time management and imperative to business success. However, if badly done, it can sometimes undermine, not increase, the likelihood of success.

The reason for this is the response when failing to achieve goals. More often than not people dust themselves down and - set the same goals. So what happens - a repeat performance and yet another episode of failing to meet goals. There is a certain inevitability about this.

Worse still it feeds a sense of recurring failure. Sadly people who expect to fail inevitably do so. Often their attitude would change if they had set and recorded realistic goals so that they could more easily reflect on their successes.

Poor planning frequently leads to deficient time management. Planning that is not properly executed leads to time and effort being squandered on the wrong things or at the wrong time. Poor time management means less likelihood of success and feeds into the spiraling sense of failure.

So is there a solution? The answer is Yes - and fortunately it is a simple one.

Let us be simplistic here and look at just two things - planning and action.

Time Management Skills and the Planning Stage

To break out from the cycle of repeated failure you must literally move the goalposts. Frequently the overall purpose might be well defined, but the intervening lower level targets, or the method of attainment, might be unrealistic.

Step 1 is to ensure clarity of purpose - the ultimate objective.

Step 2 is to break this down into the various stages needed to achieve that goal. Make sure that each stage is identified in terms of how it fits with others.

Step 3 is to identify the various tasks needed to complete each stage and the order in which they must be done.

Step 4 is to determine a timescale and resources needed to achieve each task. This is often the crucial element. Failure often comes from setting a target that is unachievable and as a result of not attaining that target, discouragement sets in. Be certain to set a realistic timetable. Include contingency time.

Step 5 is to examine your new "project" in the light of other continuing responsibilities and commitments. Doubtless this will have been considered in your thinking so far, but you should now explicitly evaluate the extent to which these will be affected and adjust those plans if that is possible or desirable. If not, re-visit the schedule for your new project and ensure that it is attainable.

One vital ingredient in all of this is that these stages should be written down. They will become the yardstick by which you will evaluate your success or otherwise in terms of time management.

Time Management and the Action Stage

Work according to your timetable. Make sure that you do not fall behind because of a lack of enthusiasm, but acknowledge when the unavoidable and unexpected throws you off track. If this happens, identify if there are areas when you can make up the lost ground. If there are none then immediately re-schedule the whole project. Do not be disheartened by things outside your control, instead immediately accept the revised schedule as your new target.

If able to progress more quickly than anticipated, be careful not to get too far ahead of your plan, unless it becomes clear that your original planning was in error. In that case you would reorganize your schedule, as would be the case following unavoidable delay.

The important point here is to ensure that you do not get ahead of your schedule simply by neglecting other responsibilities, leading to problems with those. You must also ensure you do not put too much effort into your new project that it drains you of reserves. With good time management you will remain on target.

To summarize

To achieve success in anything new we need a detailed plan with which to work and to use to evaluate progress. That framework must be realistic and achievable - if not it will become the source of an unwelcome outlook concentrating on failure. When confronted with things you cannot control, then adjust your plans and forge ahead with the same determination.

Remember, a feeling of failure can lead to actual failure if the discouragement then prevents the positive attitude needed to progress. However a well crafted flexible plan, of which goal setting is an integral part,can become the means to measure our success at time management, a source of encouragement and a spur to continuing success.

Here is a good resource for time management, if that is something you struggle with:

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With a UK Masters Degree in Internal Audit and Management, Brian Hazell audited strategic & business planning within a large UK Government Department and has managed successful businesses within UK legal & financial sectors. His book Time and Tasks Management provides detailed practical steps for radically improved time management for businesses , team managers & individuals. For a FREE preview visit: http://www.timeandtasks.com

Expectations

It's very hard to gauge the outcome of certain things... for instance, one might think that a Baby and Tween show geared directly at consumers that fit your target audience perfectly, would be a veritable sales bonanza. But this show I just did, pretty much tanked. I would have been concerned if I was the only one with low sales but every grumpy exhibitor who shelled out $1,400-$5,000 for a booth was extremely disappointed. Their complaints ranged from lack of traffic in general to lack of quality of the shopper. I had one customer, pushing a little kid in a stroller, stop by my booth and complain that there was no free food...

No free food?! Well I guess I can't expect her to fork over $29 for baby clothes if she wasn't even planning to pay for a cheese burger.

So you sign up for these things, these shows, based on guesses you make about consumer spending and buying habits. What you can't rely on is the quality and quantity of the shopper. That is just hit and miss. Some shows are hits. Some aren't. Why? Don't ask me. I'm still trying to figure that one out.

But the booth next to me had a cool concept. They are a website that features one product a day at 50-80% off retail. So every day you can receive an e-mail alert to check the site in the morning. If you like or need the item, grab it because they sell out of almost everything before the end of the day. It's a brilliant idea. Check it out!

BabySteals.com

Baby Tween Celebration LA

Here's where I will be this weekend, as an exhibitor. It promises to be tons of fun so if you are in the Southern California area, please consider coming. And visit us at booth # 313! I can send you a free pass if you want one.

Ok, That is Just Pathetic!

Almost an entire month has passed with no new post.

I swear time stood still there for me. Spring break was in there somewhere.

Here's a tip: If you own your own business and run it by yourself, are the mother of two young kids and handle all the bills and taxes and stuff for your company, your husbands company, and your house, don't also volunteer to be the Historian for your local PTA, that wants their year end report on Monday! Not when you are designing next season, dealing with customs for incoming goods, filling orders, getting a million receipts tallied to send to your tax guy, visiting grandma and grandpa for spring break, who live 7 hours away, and prepping for a show in a couple weeks... CALGON TAKE ME AWAY!

Honestly. I don't think I usually get myself into this kind of ridiculous batch of commitments all at once and I vow not to do it again. It's no fun when you are only being half as good as you could be at anything, because you are spread way too thin.

Here's to learning from your mistakes and vowing not to repeat them.

X and Y Chromosomes

I'm posting this because I just thought it was so cool. I know about the whole XX - XY boy - girl thing but I didn't realize that one of my Xs came from my grandmother on my Dads side... cool.

Each person normally has one pair of sex chromosomes in each cell. Females have two X chromosomes, while males have one X and one Y chromosome. Both males and females retain one of their mother's X chromosomes, and females retain their second X chromosome from their father. Since the father retains his X chromosome from his mother, a human female has one X chromosome from her paternal grandmother, and one X chromosome from her mother.

Moving...

Ok, so first of all, I'm not going to do my lead testing myself. Waaaaaay too expensive.
The equipment rental would have cost me thousands for one day. So I will send it to Jennifer Taggart at The Smart Mama and she will do it for me for a much more reasonable cost.

In other news, we moved this weekend. I forgot what a colossal pain it is to move. Holy Frijolé we collect a lot of stuff! I think it's healthy to move every other year just so you can purge all the junk. Or, well, better yet, just pretend you are going to move and clean out every corner.

So we had an internet-free weekend. It was strange. We went outside and moved plants around, climbed stairs and shifted boxes, not once thinking about e-mail... It was like... like... like the old days way back in the 90s before I spent my day in front of a computer plugged into the world. It's raining now or I would go back outside and play.

Just as well I suppose, I have a lot of catching up to do.

Have a successful day.

Lead testing

I'm so excited! I'm going to be renting a lead analyzer gun and testing all my stuff.

Hmmm, the things that excite me these days would quite readily bore the life out of just about anyone...

I had been trying to figure out how to cost effectively test 22 styles of already-made goods, without going completely broke. I heard about a woman who is doing some testing. THEN I found out what equipment she is using so I contacted the company and plan to rent it and do my own testing.

So I'm really looking forward to getting that info.

Everybody is saying, "But there is a stay in the process. Now you don't have to test!" Um... people... don't you WANT to know what is what? I was told it should all be fine but I would like to know myself thank you very much.

So that's my project for March. Well that and moving into our new house. We should close escrow next week.

California Budget Crisis

I got an e-mail this morning from a fellow mom asking if I was going to the "BUDGET RALLY TUESDAY and CONTACTING OUR REPS - LET YOUR VOICES BE HEARD!"

No, I'm not going.

I am not one to give up and give in, but this budget crisis is so much bigger than our school system. The state of California is about to implode. The entire state. Having 40 kids in a classroom will suck, but it will be the least of our problems. We are looking at hospitals closing, no more state services, letting prisoners free to run the streets, cancer centers shutting their doors. Every state-tied agency is going to be affected greatly. Even now there is a work furlough with state offices like the DMV, closed during business hours. And as a result, all of us will be affected. Higher property, state and sales tax. No state funding for people in shelters, they will be on the street. No community health care. The list goes on.

No one wants anyone to get laid off. No one wants anything to change for the worse but because so much damage has been done, because so much mis-management had occurred, for so long, it will. The shit is about to hit the fan and any local PTA / school issue we have, would have to be implemented state wide and I don't think that will happen due to this state's unprecedented financial crisis.

That's my two cents. I'm not a defeatist, I'm really not. I just think the time has come and no one is getting out of this one unscathed.

Kid's potential

I was having a conversation with my mom earlier today that involved a discussion about putting mandatory retirement disbursements in a high interest bearing account to offset the taxes they will owe on that income. She concurred. It occurred to me that I must be a grown up to have such a conversation and actually be remotely interested in the topic.

I was trying to imagine my kids as young women, in their careers, having grown up conversations with me. My 7 year old is practically there. She is writing her 3rd book series. She got this bug one day about two months ago and said I want to write a book. She's written about 50 pages, with illustrations. Then I was thinking back to when she was a tiny baby. I would hand her a child's board book with bright pictures. She wasn't interested. She would go to the bookcase and pull out a novel and flip the pages, stop on one and draw her finger down the paper, looking at the pattern of the words on the page. Now, in second grade she is dead set on writing books.

I asked her if she wanted to write books for kids or grown-ups. She replied, "I want my books to inspire both children and adults." Sheesh.

Incidentally, she and her sister just both won first place for their stop motion animated films in the Reflections National art competition through the PTA. When you give kids tools and support it's amazing what they will create. Our culture underestimates the capacity of kids. What they understand and how things effect them.

So I wouldn't be surprised one bit if she turns out to be an author/illustrator. It's fun to watch them find their way.

Don't eat peanut butter for a little while

The only reason I found out about the mass recall on peanut products, was because I shop at Costco and I had purchased an item in the past, that had been recalled. So they contacted me.

How cool is that by the way?! So here is a list of all the recalled items to date:

http://www.fda.gov/oc/opacom/hottopics/salmonellatyph.html#recalls

Better safe than sorry!

Musings of a Good Father on a Bad Day

There's nothing sadder than the childless couple.

It breaks your heart to see them stretched out, relaxing around swimming pools in Florida and California, suntanned and miserable on the decks of boats, trotting off to enjoy Europe like lonesome fools--with money to spend, time to enjoy themselves and nothing to worry about. Childless couples become so selfish and wrapped up in their own concerns that you feel sorry for them. They don't fight over the kids' discipline. They miss all the fun of "doing without" for the child's sake. It's a pathetic sight.

Everyone should have children. No one should be allowed to escape the wonderful experiences attached to each stage in the development of the young. The happy memories of those early years--saturated mattresses, waiting for sitters who don't show, midnight asthma attacks, rushing to the emergency room of the hospital to get the kid's head stitched up.

Then comes the payoff--when the child grows from a little acorn into a real nut. What can equal the warm smile of a small lad with the sun glittering on $1,500 worth of braces--ruined by peanut brittle -- or the frolicking, carefree voices of 20 hysterical savages running amok at a birthday party?

How sad not to have children to brighten your cocktail parties--massaging potato chips into the rug and wrestling with the guests for the olives in their martinis.

How empty is the home without challenging problems that make for a well-rounded life--and an early breakdown; the end-of-day report from Mother, related like strategically placed blows to the temple; the tender, thoughtful discussions when the report card reveals that your senior son is a moron.

Children are worth every moment of anxiety, every sacrifice. You know it the first time you take your son hunting. He didn't mean to shoot you in the leg. Remember how he cried? How sorry he was? So disappointed you weren't a deer. Those are the memories a man treasures.

Think back to that night of romantic adventure, when your budding, beautiful daughter eloped with the village idiot. What childless couple ever shares in such a wonderful growing experience?

Could a woman without children equal the strength and heroism of your wife when she tried to fling herself out of the bedroom window? Only a father could have the courage to stand by--ready to jump after her.

The childless couple lives in a vacuum. They try to fill their lonely lives with dinner dates, theater, golf, tennis, swimming, civic affairs and trips all over the world.

The emptiness of life without children is indescribable. See what the years have done. He looks boyish, unlined and rested. She is slim, well-groomed and youthful.

It isn't natural. If they had kids, they'd look like the rest of us--tired, gray, wrinkled and haggard. In other words, normal.
===============================

I found an old newspaper clipping with the above, brilliant prose, written on it. From the prices of the items being advertised on the back (eggs 15¢ - Borden's instant coffee 29¢) I gather it was written a long time ago. Maybe the 40s. I don't have any history on it but the particular article I have credits "Ronald Lowell of Whittier, CA who in turn got it from a Los Angeles Disk Jockey."

Looking for a Job?

Would you have taken this position if you'd read this employment opportunity?

POSITION AVAILABLE:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Pa, Pop

JOB DESCRIPTION :

Long term, team players needed, for challenging, permanent work in an often chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities! Extensive courier duties also required, all at your expense.

RESPONSIBILITIES :

Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, the screams from the backyard are not someone kidding around this time.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish plumming and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production and timely completion of multiple home-based educational projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always strive for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product and all of their actions.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION :

None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for 18 years to life constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you.
You are expected to accept and look forward to this without complaining.

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE :

None required.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION :

None. In fact, you pay the client, offering frequent raises and bonuses. A balloon payment is due when clients turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them become financially independent. After working all your life, when you die, you give them whatever is left.
The interesting thing about this reverse-salary structure is that you will find you somehow enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS :

While you will receive no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered nor expenses reimbursed; this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, unconditional love and free hugs and kisses for life if you play your cards right.

To fellow parents everywhere. Well done!